I
feel greatly blessed to be in South Africa today, to share in the experience of
one of the most beautiful things that South Africa is known for: the idea that we
can be who we want to be; how we want to be and wherever we want to be, in spite
of our actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity. Nonetheless,
in the past few months I have been deeply plagued by the thought that queer
persons can die, have died, at the hands of the marginal stories we as queer
persons write, tell, immerse ourselves in and constrain ourselves to, to the
exclusion of other stories. And this is how we do it:
When
we write, we must always begin with our desire. It always has to be only about
our desire and how dangerous it must be to be resident in our homes. Perhaps we
can write about our childhood if we dare. We must write about bad our childhood
was. About how every social, religious, cultural, media and literary canon that
we had access to were fired against us -
because nothing exists, can exist, outside of what we can find, have
found. For our dear lives, we must not mention anything good about our childhood.
We must insist that nothing in it made us laugh or love or swirl around mad with laughter and love.
We
must always talk about how backward and evil everyone else is because they neither
understand the word ‘gay’ nor relate when we speak our sophisticated gibberish
at them.
Then
there must be sex, lots and lots of sex. This is because sex is the only way we can live out our diversity. This is the only expression of liberty that we could
authentically and believably be interested in.
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon from Pexels |
When
we write about ourselves we must neither mention that we are deeply flawed like
everyone else nor how deeply flawed we are. Of course, our queerness cancels
out all our flaws. We are simply, delectably only ever endangered targets of
homophobia. We can do no wrong!
And
love? Our love must never be written out in its various ethnic, gender and generational
complexities. Insist that love is only ever sexual, verbally expressive and
does not exist until it is smeared generously across Instagram.
When
we discuss our non-heterosexuality or our human rights, we should forget other
layers of who we are and other things that we are connected to like natioanality,
age, race, socio-economic standing, faith, the environment, the world economy,
the politics of corruption, the baggage that comes with migration and so forth.
It
should not matter that Nigerians and other foreign nationals who come here to
South Africa for reasons including fleeing persecution on the grounds of their sexual
orientations get attacked and killed on the grounds of their foreign
nationality. It should not matter that women get attacked the most, go missing, brutally
violated sporadically because they are women regardless of anything or anyone
else that they are connected to.
It should not matter that South African LGBTI
rights organisations seem functionally passive and silent in the face of issues
like xenophobia, migration, climate change, femicide and corruption because it
really is none of their business. Of course it cannot be queer business to
bother about such things especially when these organisations fly in foreign
nationals from all over the continent, interact with the economy, depend on the
environment for its existence and functionality.
We
do ourselves, our work and journeys in the world as queer persons a great
disservice when we decide to cherry pick what issues concern us and what issues
do not; what we write about and what we do not; when we move, take action, collaborate
and when we do not.
I
was visiting Nigeria when the media churned over with material on xenophobic violence here in South Africa. I was scared stiff,
everyone was scared for me. On my way back through the Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport Abuja,
a Nigerian immigration officer asked me, ‘How can you be going back there when
everyone is coming back home?’ He cared enough to ask me, although I had grown
my hair into locks and wore my rainbow emblem proudly. Although he, part of the
ordinary mass of Nigerians socialised to frown at non-normative expressions of gender,
would think me too queer to matter, he engaged with the part of my humanity that
he shared, my Nigerianness. He cared for this Nigerianness enough for it to broke
his hate.
Inspired
by this, I suggest that it is important to show and write queer people as
people first. Centre us in the mainstream the way we really are. Insist that we
are a functional , relevant, regular part of the society. Untell our ‘queerness’
by constantly interacting and expanding what is believable, what is really
here.
Photo by Cameron Casey from Pexels |
Show
queer persons doing the mundane things that we do ordinarily like everyone else:
eating, raising kids, battling illness, standing in queues, being anxious about
interviews, working hard, making mistakes, making money, losing money and so forth.
When
we as queer persons write our stories, engage with our work and live, we should
insist that we belong. We should insist that the world is our home and the
universe’s gift to us. There is a place for fighting back. But there is also a
place for defending what we have fought for, by dropping the arms and building
along with those who build. There is a place for being part of the solution for
the larger world beyond our little rainbow corners and meetings. As such in our
stories, in our lives, no space, no issue should be beyond our imagination, occupation,
presence, engagement and participation.