African Rights

Seriously, the journey of humanity –our journey- has cost us quite a ‘bit’: World Wars; disasters, genocide, hatred, protests, revolutions, pacts, treaties, laws, peace, love, pacts, more love, then tough love, contempt, tyranny, dictatorship, dissatisfaction…the list is endless. But humanity has survived to an extent that she can be called a survivor. However, she can take only so much before she gets to that ‘here’ when she can be stretched no more. At that point she gets taut and things get ugly. This has been the case for us for as long as most of us can remember. Peace is so disturbed every now and then that peace uninterrupted is disturbing. Then again humanity is special, delicate, deserves to be unconditionally respected and allowed to enjoy quality existence - or these are the implications of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR). This document is an international outcry setting out the standards and aspirations of a quality existence a man, woman, boy and girl should have both individually and collectively.

However, these are mere aspirations and have since then been left to global and regional international institutions to expand and define. So at this point, it is fair to say that, though ‘Human rights are the rights that humans have just because they are human’, there is no universally accepted scope of what they may contain or not permit as they case may be.

Albeit the case, I am particularly fond of Africa’s de jure stance on Human Rights as can be found in

the African Charter on Human and Peoples Rights- my being African has got nothing to do with this. Yes, yes…the Charter goes ahead to heartily embrace the relevant global international aspirations as reflected in the UDHR: the rights to life…freedom of expression, association…thirty solid articles as they are, yet neatly articulated in the African Charter.

However, the great thing about the Charter which sets it apart from other regional human rights treaties and documents is the singular fact that it recognizes that the individual, as an individual, has a role to play in the implementation, promotion, preservation and protection of human rights. The details of these duties are to be found in Articles 27-29 of the African Charter on Human and Peoples’ Rights.

So crazy am I about two of these duties- contained in Article 29 paragraph 2 and 7. Paragraph 2 states that the individual shall have the duty to, ‘…serve his national community by placing his physical and intellectual abilities at its service’, while paragraph states,

‘To preserve and strengthen positive African cultural values in his relation with other members of the society, in the spirit of tolerance, dialogue and consultation and, in general, to contribute to the promotion of the moral wellbeing of the society.’

For me, these provisions are the most beautiful things about Human Rights in Africa. The individual

is mandated to ‘change the world’. This is actually a law. A must. With this, it is now clear, as it should be, that Human Rights is not just a liberty. It is a big responsibility for the present age.

This is a great call streaming loud and clear to all of us to come out; to stand out for Africa among the likes of Chinua Achebe- who laid out the African civilisation for the whole world to appreciate; Wole Soyinka- who is involved in numerous international artistic and human rights organisation (including being the United Nations named UNESCO Goodwill Ambassador for the promotion of

African culture, human rights, freedom of expression, media and communication); Fela Kuti- who vented his disregard and disagreement with misrule in Africa through his music; Jeta Amata- who through his movie, Black November, brought the world’s attention to the gross environmental degradation and its lethal consequences occasioned by the oil spills in the Niger Delta which have been unattended to; Mo Abudu- who through her Pan African Televison Network, Ebony Life TV, transforms brings to the international scene, through entertainment, a more sensational and befitting version of Africa that what the rest of the world have been deceived into believing;  Ken Saro Wiwa- who devouted himself entirely in the non-violent struggles of his people who suffered extreme environmental damage from decade of indiscriminate petroleum dumping; Gani Fawehimi(SAN)- who through law practice stood out, lived and shouted for human rights; Omotala Jalade Ekeinde- who has equally proven herself in human rights activism through her participation as a United Nations World Food Programme Ambassador; the Walk the World campaign in Liberia; her NGO the Omotola Ekeinde Initiative for Youth Empowerment; and her recent campaign in the course of which she shot a video asking Shell and the Government to Own Up, Clean Up, Pay Up and take responsibility for the Oil spills in the Niger Delta….It is official. The list of Africans who have stood out for our rights are inexhaustible. And for me, this is Human Rights.

As we have witnessed, Human Rights violations are getting more systematic and organised by the day. Smooth operations.

 Treaties are nice, but activism and individual duties need to be further encouraged and sank deep in the grass roots where the worst of these violations all occur and rights need to see light.

These days, dictionaries fail me so I will just go for it…

In the Twenty First Century ‘civilised society’, Human Rights is humanity’s only claim to a good life and it is her duty to stand out; to contribute; to make this happen. After all…It is Human Great; Human Rights.

Let's Talk About Sex!!!!!!!!!

‘Ke-di-ke’! And it’s true

Only a few topics make our hearts skip two beats like ‘Sex’. It is more or less the next universal language besides music -and perhaps fashion. Its power and prowess spreads like fluid fire through every sector of our lives: academics, religion, entertainment, family, media, social networks, work place ethics, interpersonal relationships, group co-existence, societal morals and values; and the Law. The very mention or hint of it catches our attention. We give it some thought in one way or the other at least once in 24 hours. Then again, it is discarded in inter-personal and ‘mature’ conversations as a dirty and immature thing to consider.  It is equally an arguable contention that ‘sexy’ is the twenty first century’s standard for smart, smooth and attractive. Sex sells almost everything from books, music, clothes to toothpaste and SIM Cards. It is here and it bothers me today. So let’s deal with it.

 I am not one to give definitions –the world is flooding with those. We have cliché lines like ‘Sex is special’; ‘Sex is dirty’; ‘Sex is adventure’. And hey! I feel sex is just sex. It is a factor out here to make man’s existence more exciting; a girl’s life more interesting; a woman’s role more inspiring and a boy’s life more defining.

 Now let me explain while getting down to basics. Sex is a delicate issue, element, factor … –whatever you choose to call it- that plays a very great role in how we eventually turn out or never turn out in almost every other facet of our lives. It is a long term shelf property. You just cannot afford to joke with it. Life would have been a lot simpler- and boring- if it were not here. But it being here has led- and is still leading- to a lot of beautiful, ugly and amazing things that I cannot afford to deny its weight. However, I do admit that it is a very large topic to exhaust in just one post. So for now I am narrowing down to sex in the life of a youth. Youth meaning from ‘kuchi kuchi’ to ‘Hi mum. This is the girl I want to marry.’

Before I go all academic, I want to state boldly that kids know and are conscious of a lot more than

we give them credit for. Me ma I sabi say wen I bin small, the thing dem wey I sabi eh, e fit full River Niger remain change wey go fit still throw big bash. What I am saying is that the mind of the African child can handle a lot more than we think. The topic of sex and sexuality is a remarkable part of their lives from a time earlier than we can imagine. The study of Psychology brings to light that a human being is quite conscious of pleasure and pain and the means through which it could be attained and avoided from the minute he is born. At some point the human baby is fascinated with passing faeces. Yes. This gives her sexual pleasure. The cool relieving feeling of being unburdened. Yeah! Then at another he discovers that whenever things get into his mouth he is in ‘heaven’. So the next time he sees something tangible within reach it’s gotcha! And Wom! Ohhhhhh! Such satisfaction it gives with the tongue dancing all around the object feeling the rough or smooth surface area of the object. Juicy too. When they cannot reach any object, their thumb goes in. These are stages that they must pass through and interrupting it or punishing them for it totally out of place as this would lead to adverse effects.

Then again the child grows to have sensations whenever he touches certain parts of his body. He begins to wake up with unsolicited erections. She suddenly prefers male company more. She appreciates handshakes but hugs would be just right. At this point they are more than ever prepared to listen to lectures on this seemingly brand new world of great sensations. Like a saying goes ‘When a student is ready a master will appear’. Like it or not the child has questions on his/her mind. She wants to know where babies come from. He wants to know why erections do not just mind their own business and stay away. There are countless other questions that run through their minds and have become the major topics for peer pass-times.

But in a society that predominantly neglects discussing sex with kids, these kids are embarrassed to even hint the topic amongst adults. ‘I do not want dad or mum to see me as a bad boy.’ On the other hand dad or mum either does not pay attention when a girl visits him constantly, or simply does not mind that her phone vibrates a lot more -that is if her eyes are not already perpetually glued to it.

They grow right before our eyes yet quite a number of us eventually say that we do not know what happened. The amazing thing is that by hook or crook they must learn something from someone who is somewhere. It must happen. This is a fact. What dad will not address some other man or boy out there will. What mum does not tell them they will discover. God bless the internet, these kids are faster than kids have ever been because there are over a million and one sources at the tap of their finger. No try them o!

The topic of sex and sexuality is such a salient part of our lives as individuals and as a society that it should not be taken for granted. The more reason this topic should be handled by the world’s greatest leaders: parents, big brothers, big sisters, pastors, teachers, mentors, uncles and aunts. By this I mean the proper handling of the issue of Sex Education by those who are in the best positions to handle it.

In the course of my research for this work I came across several great sources that have exposed me to so much information that I began to wonder how I coped before I read them. One remarkable material which I shall review here is THE SEX ED HANDBOOK, A Comprehensive Guide for Parents by Dr. Laura Berman.

The fourteen page material is broken into two major parts. The first is purely textual but is complemented by the second which comprises of visual aids. In the first part there are six subdivisions which contain very simple lessons for the teacher and the pupil involved as is spread in a step-by-step format for different age ranges starting from the scratch.

It begins with the posited idea that ideally Sex Education should begin at birth…

‘Yes, even a toddler can understand (and needs to understand) information about how her body functions and genitals. Why? Because if she leans to be ashamed of her body or is confused about her body, this can present later in life as body image issues or shame surrounding her sexuality.’

Dr. Laura goes on to tell us great ways to teach the child to embrace his/her body. One of such include:

‘Tell her the correct names for her body parts, and use them every time. Don’t use nicknames to refer to her genitals. This teaches her that her body is something to be hidden or masked. Correct terminology helps her to understand and embrace her body without reservations or shame.’

Moving on, at ages 2 to 3, she points out that no matter how shocked you are when they start asking questions, they must not be hushed. She proffers several means through which more ‘educated’ and helpful guidance could be rendered. She also outlines that…

‘This would also be a good time to teach your children that their private parts are their own and that no one else should touch them, other than their parents/ caregivers who are helping to wash them or wipe them. Also let them know that other people’s private parts are off-limits too.’

She strongly holds that the lessons of ‘good touch’ and ‘bad touch’ at this age, insisting that children should be taught that if someone ever touches them in  way that they do not want to be touched, they should say ‘Don’t touch me that way’ and that they can also tell you or a teacher. Use of illustrative instances that could pass for good or bad touch would go a long way.

The child questioning spree keeps growing and flowing. ‘Where do babies come from?’ or ‘I hear a kid at recess talking about an “erection” What is that?’ She proffers stages in which to meet the demands of these large questions. At this stage it would be timely to give a simple explanation of that special place in a woman’s body called the uterus/womb. It is equally ok to say that when a man and a woman love each other and are (insert your own values here, such as when they get married, X years old, etc.), the man has sperm and the woman has an egg. The man’s sperm fertilizes the woman’s egg and a baby grows.

When they ask about how the sperm and egg gets together, she advises that we use the visual aids as provided in the second part of the handbook for clarity and simplicity. They you teach the chid that the sperm is produced in the man’s testes which is inside his scrotum and the egg comes from the woman’s ovaries.

‘The sperm and egg meet in her fallopian tube, and then the fertilized egg travels down the fallopian tube to the uterus, In the uterus, there is a nice cushy layer of nutrients and the fertilized egg starts to grown there.’

Then the big question comes… ‘How does sperm get into the woman’s body?’ At this time you have to boldly and categorically tell the child, Look…

‘When a man and a woman (insert values here such as ‘love each other’, ‘only want to be with each other’, ‘are married’), the man puts his penis inside the woman’s vagina (anatomy lesson having already occurred) and the sperm comes out of his penis in a fluid called semen’ and it goes up into her uterus to her fallopian tube, where it meets the eggs.’

There, you have said it. Congratulations! You can blink now. However, your job is not over yet. Before the child gets into puberty, she advises that it…

‘…is a good time to talk about how semen is made, ovulation, menstruation, tampons/pads, wet dreams (nocturnal emissions is the correct term). Don't forget to include the other changes that happen with adolescence, such as hair growth, deepening voice, sweat production, oily skin, growth of breasts and penis and sexual thoughts/ feelings.’

It is your duty to convince them these changes are totally normal and happen at different times to everyone. For girls, it could occur between 9 and 14, while for the boys they come along a little later.

‘Reassure them that they can come to you any time they want with questions or concerns as they start to go through this sometimes scary process.’

It is very important you sit with them in a relaxing atmosphere to discuss the issues of masturbation, orgasm, pregnancy, homosexuality, lesbianism and nocturnal emissions. You can tell the girl child that it is ok to have orgasms in their sleep as well.

‘Explain what an orgasm is simply by saying that it is a really pleasurable feeling

that comes from your penis or vulva being touched. To be more in-depth, say it’s an intense contraction of the muscles in the area that feels like a beautiful release.’

You must however, come to grasp with the fact as they get older sex education should become less of a monologue and more of a conversation. Several other related issues may come up such as oral and anal sex, Human Immunodeficiency Virus, safe sex and birth control.

Herein Dr. Laura further went on to advise that when we start talking to them about the mechanics of sex we should simultaneously be addressing our hopes and dreams for their sex lives.

‘For example, what you’d like for them their first time (to be with someone they love and trust, who is going to respect them and care about making them feel good, who loves them and whom they love in return, someone who is going to be with them the day after and not talk about them, someone who deserves the amazing gift that their body and sexuality is).’

You must reinforce these lessons and values through constant checking on them, revisiting the issue and always being available, open and patient enough to listen.

Note Abeg!!!!!!

‘…just because you are having these discussions with your children doesn’t mean that you are giving them the green light to have sex.’

Always insist to their face, warmly but firmly…

‘I want you to have the information so that you aren’t confused or misled by kids at school, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s okay for you to have sex right now. I want you to wait until (insert value here…you get married, get a degree. Turn X years old….)’

Having gone this far, you must be sure their usage is surprised or at least be in the same room when they are browsing. Make sure their laptops, phones are used within your control and explain to them the reality of online sexual predators. And let the ground rules be clear on pornography and sexting (sex chatting). Total abstinence!

The media is your friend

Dr. Laura believes – and I agree- that we can use the sexual messaging in the media to our advantage

by making it a ‘teachable moment’. If a sexual scene comes on screen, do not just snatch the remote control and change channels. Turn it into a conversation…

‘Remember when we were watching that movie and they started discussing oral sex? Did that make you uncomfortable? Is that something kids at your school talk about? Is it something they do?’

You should give your child the chance to come alive, trust and bond with you without shame or fear.

The Role of Self Esteem

I love what she says here:

‘Teach your children that their sexuality is a gift and a joy and that it is something

that should not be tossed aside or used and abused by others.’

She further advises that we should not let the kids know that sex feels great and is wonderful experience…

‘…but only under the right circumstances and with the right person.’

If it is not the right time or person, it can be disenchanting or saddening, in place of inspiring and exciting.

‘Tell her… you want her first time, her every time to be beautiful and amazing, a time when her body is respected and valued, not used and discarded.’

Dr. Laura did a good job on this if I may so myself. Then again I’d like to add that Sex Education is equally part of our spirituality. A proper and timely one enhances our ability to relate with ourselves and openness on our part to God.

The Bible relates to us in Genesis 1: 26-28 that God chose to make man in a specific form so that we may be perfect to take his (man) place in the dynamic of things. When God was done, He was so fascinated by how and the result of the creation of the human race that he blessed with breath and live, and gave them the  charge and capacity to reproduce. God also gave us a special place amongst creation and a special relationship with Him. The Bible further relates to us in Romans 12:4-6 and 1 Corinthians 12:22-23 that each part of us is special, important and useful in completing the big picture of our lives and that even the seemingly ‘lower’ ones are to be treated with much care.

Sexuality as an issue in the Bible comes up again in the John 8: 1-11, the situation of the adulteress who was about being stoned to death. Nothing that was said about her shook Jesus- they must have called her all sorts of names. Their rationality probably was that she was different brand of human who did not deserve to live. However, when Jesus rose His head, he said, ‘Let anyone among you who has no sin be the first to throw a stone at her.’ Let anyone of us who does not share in this nature of being a sexual being filled with sensuality and desire stand out. Let anyone of us who does not have to face hormones stand up. Of course no one was that bold to lie because they had been convicted by their very own conscious that all shared in her ‘imperfection’. But the special message in this is that Christ said to her, ‘I do not condemn you, go and sin no more.’ Go and live above imperfection. Go and be conscious of your beauty. Go and handle thing properly next time.

Every child, man and woman in the human race is an image of beauty both inside and out. Consciousness and education is the key to unlocking this and letting us come alive. The Bible holds in Proverbs 22:6

‘Teach a child the way he should go, he will not stray from it while he lives ’

I do not negate the fact there are ‘more important’ things to talk about with the kids other than sex. But if you do not have that conversation with them to teach them the right things ‘on time’ you may not have that chance again in the future. You may be turning your child into a raving sex illiterate by simply neglecting that part of his/her life and personality. You are daddy/mummy now but you will not always be instructor. They need to hear it now that their heart is going ke-di-ke  to ask questions, watch and listen.  In addition it will afford you a wonderful intimacy and a refreshing relationship on a whole new level with your child/ward. So c’mon! Let’s talk about Sex baby!

Please click here to download Dr. Laura Berman's Book on Sex Education
Please click here to watch video on Sex Education

I look at you... and you inspire me

 

Nigeria, Africa and the rest of the world are flooded with tastes and trends. Channel E is saying one thing. The Fashion Police is saying another. The Fashion shows and magazines seem to be in a world of their own. The near weekly ashebi temptation does not make things less complicated. The various pictures of our lives of our lives make us go 'Hey! I need that suit'; 'I could use a pair of blue suede shoes'; 'I can not go wrong with Ankara'; 'Malaysian hair always works'; 'Platforms take you anywhere'; 'Red is the colour'...Omo e...who invent fashion sef !? And this is just one category of us.

At another wing, some of us go all high spirited to live in the moment. 'Sexy is what it is!' Flaunting the 'melon twins' and 'macho distractions'. As much as these are already a handful , we have another special category that has given up on fashion and appearance to descend to anything. There are also those who go for the 'Bottle Neck Total Conceal'

I think we should just all Watch it! A large crowd is watching. The society is such a delicate chain of events that a simple mistake or misbehaviour on our part could destroy a person forever. Think of it, an innocent child may secretly admire you and mirror absolutely everything you wear. And to such a child 'sister cleavage' is the true definition of a cut-throat sensation.

We hear and know of things about lifestyle, personality, class, presentation and poise. Shockingly, this is part of our Christianity too. Presentation is everything and all parts of our lives are essential to our ministry of getting the world to see God in a refreshingly inspiring light.

Your body is the temple of God and you are the very sensational face of Christendom. What you choose to wear or not to wear, though entirely your decision, is part of your life as a Christian and equally the fulcrum on which the faith and strength of quite a number balances.

Fortunately, I will not ask you to wear this or that or to toss those away. However, I will have you know that you have a gift. You have a great mind

For God did not confer on you a spirit of bashful, but of strength love and good judgement(2 Timothy 1:7)


Let that mind, independent of all impure and external pressure, decide for you.

Through scripture the man of God is made expert and thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:17)

Then again, I will say this to you. Africa celebrates countless people for their impact in the world and in history. Most of this began with how they presented themselves; what they stood for; what they chose not to wear or say and conversely what they chose to appear in and say; the decent and positively explosive energy they bounced of on the world, and the influence they had and still have on men, women and children alike.

Looking good is an amazing business. Wonderful in all its demands, commands and reprimands. So when you decide to throw on that jacket, pair of shoes, Ankara, pleats or even have that 'it' hair cut/ hair do, keep in mind that either of three things may happen (you might inspire, disenchant/disgust, or have no effect at all on everyone) but one thing must. Eyes look at you!

 

 

The Four Faces of Love

I have a secret to spill and no one else must hear of this.

There is a woman in my life whose person I now tell you about. A woman whose life has dealt great blows on me. Before I tell her name, I shall tell you four sins that the world hates her for. Perhaps you will decide to be more liberal or kind to hold otherwise. So keep an open mind and tell the winds of scrutiny to be still until you are sure you can be as objective.

For now, it is safe to call her M.

‘Nnanna’, that’s what she calls me and my palpitation, in responding, betrays me. She looked into my eyes a lot initially when I arrived making ‘silly’ faces at me. Blowing me kisses every now and then and taming my tears to cease at her presence or touch and my body to giggle on her tickling.

Initially, I felt enslaved as it bothered me that two people could control my thoughts, emotions and physiology. I felt a little less than a baby. ‘I have my pride and power!’ often I would prove with loud squeals in the middle of the night and throw the whole house into World War II. I was entertained to see them all run around like zombies looking for this or that to pacify me. But then like a vision in white her two hands would reach for me in the darkness with warm palms clasping my sides, ascending to a warmer pillow, then as usual the milk works would follow. I loved my life.

However, with time M had grown more and more distinct as the thoughts my mind became more conscious of the tastes, textures and colours of the life I lead and the world she is now the centre of. I could recognise her even with my eyes closed. She teaches me every day to laugh, cry and be lucid. Often relaying that as much as I appreciate splendour, occasional lack and silence is healthy. There has always been this thin filament that gets thicker every day between us. Perhaps it is because of her four sins, the four faces of love:

The Face of ‘Sister’

M tells me great things. Little and simple in their packs. She always slips in gold nugget whispers at times when my mind was most wildly receptive and my ears impulsively itching to listen.

She beautifully steps back and forth in my life keeping at my pace and often a little slower and faster. She challenges my abilities to think, be answerable and gives me the chance to be a man. While she stretches my patience she strengthens my faith. She always applauds my feats and mildly urges me on in flashes of polite contempt. Then again she is not always present to witness my growing stupidity but always make me aware that she looks out for my explosive moments and prays for me in the silence of my tears.

When I am weak, she warms me with love and understanding. She always tells me that I am her inspiration, her pride. She inspires dad to. Whenever she is here dad is hardly ever in a bad mood. Again she knows when to step in to my rescue and when to side him for our good. This is one of her faces of love. A love which gives her the right to have…

The Face of ‘Lover’

With this face she is a shield to my immaturity. She flaunts me like a trophy to the world. In this new light she sees me as perfect and exclusive. She always listens to me and gives me several chances to grow up, appearing to understand even when I am most inexplicable. She never gives up on me and she is always kind.

She is humble enough to let me see her tears and but they are gone the next minute and love is sweet and simple once more. Her secrets are my secrets. My life is her life and all my projects are a joint priority.

However, she understands that she deserves her space and I deserve mine. She is not too coy to be silly around me and to let the whole know that she is in love. For this reason, most of the time, it is us against the world.

I admit that she completely owns my mind when she wants to. And no one takes our love for a ride. She teaches me to love in simple and most spontaneous ways. She trusts in my fidelity and fancies how I try to struggle from her charms to no avail. Funny as it may seem, I occasionally want to run away when the love explodes in multiple unconventional definitions. But those times cage me in the more. Then again to achieve this, she has to have…

 

The Face of ‘Friend’

As time passes in my life I independently accept that I can never be independent. She makes this so true. Often I find myself looking at her, inspired by the extent to which she has succeeded in outliving all that used to stand in her way. She sees danger in nothing and is fired up simply by the thirst to lead a wonderful life. Every part of her is a super-story. Her academics, finances, spiritually, family, love-life, career, purpose and gifts. She wonderfully bears this face to a lot of others besides me and has inspired almost everything to come alive and stay that way. She is good. She is beautiful. However, she is often misunderstood and challenged by those who believe that her speed is a threat and an eye-sore. But then, how she handles this so maturely marvels me all the more. When she tells me the bitter truth, she does not blink at all and that scares me. But she knows how to have a good time and does it properly. She does not pretend to be a fan of my madness but quite a lot about me gets to capture her undivided attention and I feel so V.I.P. when this happens. Truly, she can never achieve this without wearing…

 

The Face of ‘Mother’

After raising five kids- in collaboration with God and dad, she does not only have more than her own fair share of labour pangs, mood swings, morning sickness and the works, she has a stellar personality, great taste in meals, entertainment, fashion and books. She is such an amazing companion, hostess, student and coach. Often she plays all three at a time and suddenly the world to her is one big classroom. We still cook together once in a while and I have to learn to accept the painful Vitamin A that the onions cannot do without. ‘Run to wherever and return! This onion will not cut itself ’ she says in her silence observing you as she seems to be so engrossed with the vegetables or the stove. Who says that the kitchen is not ‘inspiring’?

The again, in some inexplicable way she manages to love and remember everything about everyone. Five kids and a husband should be competing for accommodation in that little heart of hers, but this seemingly little heart seems to expand with an amazingly explosive rate. No one can touch its ceiling, no one can reach its depth. She knows every subject of every homework. She joggles the expanding social circles, health, emotional and psychological needs of us all and even more. And she does this so perfectly it scares me.

From tooth brush lessons to puberty to sex and relationships, everything is on her schedule and in her purse. No wonder she hardly ever falls sick or cries. She enjoys a healthy marital relationship with dad and together they are impermeable. So it’s better they do not even sit on your matter because it is their way or the high way. In this light, I hate to admit, most of the time their way is the best way. Every stroke of the cane and TV deprivation was just perfect for our upbringing and maturity.

M is my mother,  Mrs. Doris Chinyere Ikpo.  I do not boast in her being flawless but no woman can be as perfect as she is to bear these four faces of love at the various phases in the lives of my sisters, dad and I. She is not only an inspiration to me but also a standard. Each day I wake up to her is a festival for me. She is every place I want to go to. She is everyone I want to talk to. In her, God shows himself to me ever loving, ever kind. Still, she may not be much but she means the world to me.

As you add a year’s feather to your hat, I declare that everything that means happiness to you is strengthened. May all your days be filled with joy, peace, complete happiness, inspiration and the All-preserving presence of the Most High God . We love you mum. We love so much. And we pray for grace for all mothers to love God; lead beautiful lives; raise wonderful kids and husbands; and to bear the four faces of love.

So this is the woman in my life, I hope you do not judge me so. You know my secret and now you owe me.

But I plead and plead again, if you see my mum anywhere, tell her that you know that we love her because we loves her so much.

Happy Birthday mum.

From your family.

 

 

 

More Learning to More People

If education, as Nelson Mandela puts it, is the most powerful weapon you can use to change the world, then learning, I dare to say, should be the most important process in all of human existence. In this light, it is quite salient to, against all odds, aptly define what learning is in order recognize it. We ought to study its scope and relevance in the society. This is more so as we ought to recognize, as well as, implement the best methods practicable and available. These are all in order to get the best results of this exercise and more still harness its powers.

Jurisprudence holds that there is not one objective definition for any one term in the world. However, proffering explanations would be of great help in conceptualising to an extent, though not exhaustively. Generally, learning may thus be explained as the process of acquiring new, or modifying and reinforcing existing knowledge, behaviours, skills, values or preferences and may involve combining variedly sourced information. ‘Innovative’ may also be translated to the words ‘new’, ‘unconventional’, ‘revolutionary’ and ‘creative’. ‘Bridging’ refers to connecting or relating two or more disconnected parts. ‘Literacy’ refers to the ability to read and write to a competent level, or the knowledge or competence in a particular subject or area of activity. ‘Skill’ is the ability to do something well to a desired quality. ‘Gap’ in this context may refer to complete or partial absence.

Through time, the scope of learning and where it can take place has been altered by the society’s conception of it. Then again, it has grown steadily as well. This growth has kept it formidable and present in everyday, every place and at every time. When I sit in the classroom to receive my lectures, I am learning. When a girl observes her mum cook, she is learning. When a man reads a book about another man, place, time or thing, he is learning. When a lady travels to a place (other than where she has been to previously) and is gradually getting accustomed, she is learning. When I speak to the youths in my community, I am learning. When I attempt essay competitions alongside my regular academic scheme, I am learning. While I am listening to musical lyrics continually, I am learning. In all these processes, and even more, learning takes place. It springs from the consciousness that something is worth knowing that is unknown; absent that could be present or that something is desired or admired which could be achieved. Learning is the diffusion and absorbance of thoughts, experience, information, ideas, skills and behaviour from a definite source that is prepared and focused on giving to receiver that is prepared and focused on accepting. It is the complete process wherein there must occur a certain alteration in the mind and capacity of a person owing usually to a confrontation or encounter with something or someone else. It is such a delicate process, in the course of which absolutely anything may transpire if taken for granted.

In the twenty first century, it is pertinent to wake up to the status quo and the fact that the art and act of learning has broken free from concrete walled and aluminium roofed classrooms, laboratories and libraries. They are no longer chained to customary lectures and regulated by a fixed time. They do not strictly require any particular person, place or time. They are delicate yet dynamic processes which the world now harnesses to immortalise develop, explosively propagate and expand its existence, power and capacity. In order words, learning is no longer a case of ‘It is very important that you watch me closely and repeat’ but has become the spontaneous process of ‘Watch me, others and you, repeat continuously, do better and let others watch you’.

However, a few corners of today’s world have decided to hold tight to the cliché methods, make them more unbearable, unaffordable and distract others from breaking free even when it is most pressing to. As a result, The Educational Systems of countries like Nigeria suffer and have to come face to face with very daunting challenges. Some of these challenges include inadequate funding by thy government; extremely rigid academic schemes; instability in the condition of the teaching staff; politicisation of admission into schools as well as regards recruitment of teachers; encouragement and non-confrontation of indiscipline, cultism and education malpractice; poor parenting and guidance of the pupils; low standard set for teachers; lack of good role models and the availability of bad ones; inaccessibility of quality education to the poor.  

All these are active factors which affect the quality, efficiency and effectiveness of our Nigerian schools be it nursery, primary, secondary or tertiary. Most of the time, we carry on as though it is not there. Other times we flee from the consequences of our bad actions and lethal inactions. This is further buttressed as the Network of Migration of Research on Africa (NOMRA) (migration expert group) posited that about 10,090 Nigerians were granted visas into the United Kingdom in 2009 and they paid forty two billion naira to the host nation. Another negative effect of our poor education system is that a reasonable fraction of the bright minds in our country cannot afford the proper education, not just because of financial constraints but because of the cliché methods employed. The Nigerian educational system is simply not prepared to handle the twenty first century mind and mannerism.

Whether it is accepted or not, the fact is that today’s lectures are not held in four walled classroom filled with desks, white boards, books, pencils and teachers who speak flawless English. They are held on Facebook Groups and Fan Pages. Pupils are comfortably seated, paying rapt attention, steaming actively in Blackberry Messenger instant messages and ‘To Go’ Chat Rooms. Social Networks, whether they are salaried or not, now receive the highest patronage from the contemporary minds because they are available and affordable. Not merely because they are flashy alluring distractions but because what our Nigerian schools and stale libraries in institutions have to offer are nothing compared to their stellar style, colour, user-end simplicity and speed. This grey cloud is stretched not just to the form of the schools but the substance therein. This is more so the case as the contrast is not only glaring but leaves the twenty-century pupil the chance to choose.  

The questions on our lips thus become: How can we save and fortify our educational system? How can we make Nigerians more conscious of their innate prowess? How can we, through formidable and potent creativity, capture Nigerian minds firmly without distracting them from our core values as a nation and a people under God? How can we creatively inspire and transform Nigerian minds to those which are capable of recreating Nigeria to become the state of our dreams? How can we save Nigeria now? How can we save Nigeria’s tomorrow?

The only way that more learning can be spread to more people is being conscious of them and their circumstances. Today’s Nigerian does not need merely need to be told what to do; he needs to know what to do and how to do it. Invariably, he has to be given the proper orientation by the proper people at the proper place through the proper means. Herein, four things are to be properly taken note of and catered for, orientation, tutors, location and medium.

The proper orientation in the context translates to the act of mentoring the society with the right values through academics. It is not just enough to have subjects taught in classes and seminars. They have to be juxtaposed with what is more customarily seen and has become part of regular living. This however, may not demand the creation of more schools or fortifying the schools that are in existence already. This instead is a call to make the society one big school.

In this light, the education should be taken out to the streets, cinemas, shops, parks, garages, churches, mosques, social groups and other places that are generally pumped with people. This demands holding regular classes at these places in the course of the evenings on courses like Mathematics, English, Basic Sciences, Computer Science/ Information Technology, Arts and Craft, Government (the Art of Good Citizenship) and Current Affairs, commencing from the scratch as it is would be taught to nursery and primary school pupils. This exercise could be drafted into the National Youth Service Corps Scheme. These are very important courses that are today the core of literacy, skill and good citizenship. If the National Youth Corps Orientation Camp are lined with activities such as seminars on basic communication skills and ethnic language of the places they (the fresh graduates) have been posted to and ‘The Art of Teaching in the Twenty First Century’ anchored by qualified veterans (Africans perhaps) who have been opportune to have taught in other places outside Africa and are internationally recommended. These seminars should be at least a two week event with field rehearsals and modelling of these modes by these veterans. These corpers should have, at the end of the seminar, sound knowledge of how to carry out these tasks in their stations. This process may be more spiced if local celebrities such as actors/ actresses, models, artistes, speakers and celebrated authors and humanitarians volunteer to be attached regionally to stations. People would definitely flood the Mile One Park in Port Harcourt with their books and pencils if they got wind of Richard Mofe Damijo’s Free English Lecture on Friday at Mile One, 5:00pm prompt or Osuofia’s Arts and Crafts Class on Saturday Afternoon at the Upper Iweka, Anambra State. These celebrities shall be at these places monthly but shuffled biannually so that the process retains its spontaneity.

Another means to take more learning to more people is bringing these lectures to the radio stations and television programmes nationwide at least three times a day, in the mornings just before the news; afternoons during lunch; and in the evenings just before closing. Three subjects a day with a basic academic scheme that runs monthly including weekend revision sessions (which shall revisit all that has been done in the course of the week). This is more so the case as these programmes shall be interactive and shall have begin and end with popular demand music tracks as shall change from time to time. To encourage and reward public commitment and patronage to these programmes, tests and examination questions thrown open to the public to call and answer them. To further boost public participation, calls made to these academic tests and examination shows should be charged extremely minimally or completely free. Awards scholarship and of certificates of participation should be issued to participants based on the number of attempts they made and their performance at the tests and examinations. As time advances, there could be all night tutorial radio and television shows on Friday nights breaking Saturday morning in preparation for these tests and examinations. This is more so the case as these tutorials can be recorded and sold at a subsidized rate to the general public at book shops nationwide. Academic literature and cartoons may be included in the print media everyday so as to serve as a reference point to the general public and also encourage the general public’s paying attention to current affairs. There could also be billboard signs which further advertise these lectures and their schedules to the public at strategic places nationwide.

Unarguably, the art and act learning is Nigeria’s key to a better society wherein people are more enlightened to know what is proper and what is not; what to believe and what to discard; where to go and where not to; what to say and what not to. This is more so the case as this further prepares Nigeria to compete in a sophisticated yet simple world as it is today and it will become as time and knowledge advances. After the above have been successfully pursued and accepted then we can join we world community on the internet, creating and emerging a new generation of cyber Nigerians who are not only prepared to storm the world but redefine her with that which is not only enviably Nigerian but also proudly African